I'm starting to think that I'm not meant to date.  My attempts at dating (or just making a new friend) are such train wrecks.  I think I mentioned that I had met this woman through school.  She's my age, single, a lesbian.  And before we had met, I had asked her if she wanted to go to coffee.  She had said yes.  Then I ran into her the other night at dinner in my community, which was a weird coincidence, but she was visiting with another student in our community.  She suggested that we go out Friday, after her class was over.  I said I would have to get back to her, since I didn't know what time graduation was on Friday.  No problem.  So I emailed her a few days ago.  Nothing.  I called her last night and left a message, asking her if she still wanted to go out today.  Nothing.  Weird.  Why blow me off?  We've never really met or talked.  I don't think I could have said anything that offended her.  Maybe, now that she's seen me, she knows that she's not attracted to me.  That's totally fair.  But we're both students at this small graduate school in counseling.  Surely we can try to get together and see if we have any friendship potential, right?  Apparently not.  I've been blown off.  The weird thing is that we're going to be taking the same class this summer, a weekend intensive workshop.  Maybe it doesn't feel bad to her to blow someone off, so she doesn't have to worry about facing me in the future?  This is the third time this spring that someone has brazenly blown me off.  What?  Am I giving off some sort of weird "be mean to me" vibe?

Earlier this spring I had asked another woman out.  She said yes.  And she even called me once to ask me out.  We finally set a date (I didn't really care all that much, I have to admit, and by the time she blew me off, I was thinking that being around her wasn't such a good thing for me), and then she blew me off.  We were supposed to go hiking one afternoon, and she called me to tell me that she had already taken her dog to the dog park that day, so she wasn't really in the mood for a hike.  She left that message on my voicemail.  Now, I figured that she probably wasn't into me.  No big deal.  I really do like to make new single friends so I have someone other than Joy to go out with on weekends.  I like meeting new people anyhow.  But blowing me off because your dog doesn't need the exercise is rude.  The message clearly was: I was only spending time with you to exercise my dog, and he no longer needs it.  That was weeks ago and she hasn't called since.  Frankly, I'm okay with that.  She was in a car accident earlier this year (maybe at the end of last year) and all she talks about these days is her head injury.  I'm sure it has seriously changed her life (she stopped working months ago), but something about that situation gave me the willies.

And my friend, Nicole also blew me off.  We had been hanging out together, and then she got back together with her former gf, and that was it for me.  I never heard from her again.  We had plans (even tickets to something) together, and  she simply blew me off.  Didn't return my phone calls.  Nothing.  Why would you do that to a friend?  We had been friends for a long time.  I have heard that she's even gotten herself a new job in Santa Fe (she lives in ABQ), and she's broken up with that gf, but still, I haven't heard from her.  I doubt I ever will again.  Eventually, I'll see her at some event.  I won't know what to say.  I imagine I'll just avoid her, as though I've done something wrong.  I wonder if she'll just act like it never happened.  I'm a good friend, loyal, reliable.  I would never do that to a friend, and if, for some weird reason, I did, I think I would apologize for my crappy behavior.  I'm pretty good at taking responsibility for it when I make a mistake.  I called a parent today to apologize for making a mistake (with the SATs no less) regarding her son.  Oops.  I took care of it, but I'm willing to admit when I've done something stupid.

Has my karma brought this on me?  Have I treated someone very badly?  Or is this just the universe's way of telling me that I can't date right now?